Stopping at one.

FB_IMG_1467583232236Before becoming a mummy, I always thought I’d have more than one baby. I always thought I’d have a boy first and then a little girl. I always liked the idea of a big brother to look after his little sister.

But becoming a mummy, the reality is, I don’t think I want another baby. Now don’t get me wrong I am sure Chloe would love to have a little brother or sister to play with. And sometimes I do miss the cuddle of a new-born, or going shopping for tiny baby clothes. But I am happy stopping at one.

The idea of having a toddler and a new-born as well as going to work, feels me with dread. I love our life now with just the three of us. And in my eyes Miss Chloe is perfect and I could not imagine loving anyone as much as I do her.

But I think the real reason deep down inside is that I am worried that my body and mind will let me down again. I honestly don’t think I could cope with post natal depression with a toddler and a new-born. And I couldn’t face putting Mr D through it all again.

As a family of three and with our work patterns me and Mr D get to each spend one on one time with Chloe. But we wouldn’t be able to do that if we were to have another baby. Chloe to me is special and I want to give her all my time and love.

Now, this is not to say that in the future we wont have  another baby as you really don’t know what the future holds, but for me at this very moment in time, I am happy it being Mummy Em, Mr D & Miss Chloe, and that’s why I am stopping at one.

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2 thoughts on “Stopping at one.

  1. It’s such a hard decision and one that only you can come to the right conclusion for you. My feelings of wanting a sibling totally outweighed the fear of pnd returning a second time. Which it did with avengence and that curtailed my dreams of having a third as I knew I couldn’t put myself or my family through it all again. Once you are totally happy with your decision no matter who asks you if you are going for another one whether it is the nosey shop assistant or a friend then you can smile and comfortably hand on heart say no and not have that nagging thought that you have missed out.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It feels selfish not to give Chloe a sibling, but I feel wrong to have another and not be 100% for either of them. I never thought I would only have one, but I feel blessed to have one and she brings so much joy to us.

    Like

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